N2 People Skills

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A fictitious scenario. Two deck crew and an afternoon with guests

Aboard a 50m Yacht.

Tim a deck-hand is an (I) introverted. He shares a cabin with Bob and (E) extraverted.

Tim and Bob were out in one of the tenders with Guests, Mr and Mrs Wave, wake boarding. Mrs Wave does not seem to stop talking, first about Mr Wave and how this was just his second time out, and that he was always so good at sports and everything he did, etc, etc, etc, ....................... So the conversation goes on for most of the afternoon, when it isn’t Mrs Wave chatting, it is Mr Wave who is talking to Tim. (Tim is the wake-boarding expert.)

Tim is in his element in the conversation (Mr Wave had asked for Tim to take them out to get some pointers) and interacts with the Wave’s who both have a preference for extraversion, and never seem to stop asking Tim questions and talking, a lot, and always to Tim!

This to Tim while enjoyable, (he loves wake boarding and teaching it) has been exhausting. Not physically, but psychologically. Tim has had to spend a lot of time out of preference, remember he is an (I). And as it happens so did Bob, he is the (E) and is hardly even acknowledged by Mr & Mrs Wave as they are absorbed by Tim and his knowledge.

So they head back to drop the Wave’s off for cocktails aboard. The tender needs a quick wash off and a chamois.

So here we have two possible ends;

(a) Two crew that have little, if any idea of self awareness and psychological type.

(b) Two crew that have been through our workshop and have learnt how different a situation can be from different perspectives and understand each others needs.


  • Tim just wants to chill out in his own way and Bob just wants to explode in conversation. They may both clean the tender up while Bob spends the whole time talking, “ I can’t believe they said this and that” etc,etc,etc. Tim meanwhile would like to tell Bob to shut up and ? At the end of it they are both annoyed at each other and still have to share a cabin. Nether really knowing why they are mad at each other, they just feel tired and annoyed.

Or. A better solution

  • As the Wave’s get aboard and Tim and Bob start to get things stowed, Bob asks Tim if he wants to wash the tender down and chamois it off on his own, (Bob understands that Tim needs to chill). Tim greets this with a smile and asks Bob if he would help one of the Stewardess’s that he was meant to help later (Tim knows Bob needs to talk). Bob is happy as this will give him the opportunity to chat about his day to another (E).

While this is only looking at one set of dichotomies, I hope it gives you a sense of how easily a situation can get misunderstood if we have a lack of self awareness and understanding of preferences.

I originally posted this on Dockwalk.com and did get one unfortunate reply from a more fixed mindset type of person.

See below;

who the hell would hire somebody who got exhausted by conversing with the guests, stopping them is the problem.